Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A little honesty...

Damn. My dogs ate my wedding dress painting. Not this dog in particular, although I'm sure he joined in the fun a little. But the little chihuahua who is hiding from me in this picture because he KNEW he was bad.

Luckily for me, Sabrina has agreed to redo my dress painting for me. And this one will be hanging on the wall. Not artfully propped up and displayed against my mirror on my dresser next to the bed where the dog can climb up and get to it.

I'm also kind of bummed out this morning because our weekend wasn't really as productive as I wanted it to be. I've come to realize more differences between the 'huz' and I. For instance, when I say that I'd really like to go through and organize the office which is full of (his) stuff, it really bums me out when over a 3 and a half day weekend we can't manage to get it done. Or, when I say that we really need to go through and organize/get ready the stuff for a (long put-off) garage sale, and it doesn't happen, it really bums me out. I hate not feeling "productive" and like I just pissed away my weekend. I'm not trying to say that I don't enjoy relaxing and taking it easy, but when you've got stuff you really want to do (and have for a long while), it's frustrating when you don't even make the effort. Instead, you sit your butt down in front of the TV and nap. I mean, dude couldn't even mow the yard.

I know I'm guilty too, and I think my frustration is as much with myself for allowing this to go on and bother me like this as it is with him for not getting up and actually getting anything done. We've had our discussions on this type of thing before. It doesn't bother him. It doesn't bother him that things are messy, dirty, out of place, cluttered, or shoved in clear plastic tubs in no particular order and not to be looked at again. It doesn't bother him that every flat surface in our small house has become a catch-all for "stuff" like our mail, his work bag, his plug-ins and cords, his medicines, his random papers, his change, his baseball hats, his magazines..... It doesn't bother him, and I know this. But it does, however, bother me. A lot.

So, on my work this morning I decided that instead of fuming about my unproductive long weekend, I was going to own up and do something about it. Even if I have to go through all his junk and risk his anger at possibly throwing away something that he might have someday used for something... I don't care. I mean, our office is so full of stuff, you can only walk to the chair at the desk and that's it. The rest is piled up. I might be having a garage sale by myself this weekend, but it's going to happen. And so what if it's all just laid out on the concrete driveway?? I'm donating whatever doesn't sell so it won't come back into our house.

I'll add to all of this that I'm not the most anal person in the world about order. But I do like a somewhat clean and tidy house. Plus, he's been saying that this is something HE wants to do. He wants to go through his stuff to make "room" (probably for more stuff). I don't mean to sound like a mean ungrateful wife, but this has just been eating away at me since Sunday afternoon. Why do I have to "nag" to try and get things done?

I am so glad that I have this place to kind of "vent". But more than venting, this is an action plan for me. I was supposed to take pics this weekend of our "work" for a Make-under Your Life post. Yeah. That didn't happen. But it will now. I've let him be like this because it's "his" stuff, because the office is "his" space (to decorate), and because I thought that he would eventually do something!! But that is not looking too likely at this point, so.....???

(Thank you for letting me rant a little)


Jenny.Lee said...

Sometimes they just need a nice little SHOVE in the right direction. Maybe if he sees you going through it all it will spur him into action. Sorry you were so frustrated this weekend.

Blablover5 said...

There is something in that damn Y chromosome that tells them they should, nay must, put shit all over any open space.

My husband is terrible about it, as soon as I clear a space off after a few hours dedicated to organization I turn around and for some reason he put an empty box there. I still don't get his need to put socks on the table.

There are very weird things that go on inside the male mind. Weird, scary, horrifying things that probably involve dust bunnies the size of your head!

Marie said...

Hope it all gets sorted for you. I am more like your husband and my husband like you, he does just throw my stuff away and it has worked I've definitely got tidier so would recommend your course of action! Oh and sorry about the painting, but thanks for the cute Riley pic!

Kirsten said...

Ugh. I so feel your pain. We're still trying to clean up post-wedding and move--even though the move was over a year ago! There is junk everywhere and it's so easy to feel overwhelmed and just not do anything. This weekend though, I finally got my butt up and moving. Even if I was cleaning up his stuff too at least it would make me feel better. It's a vicious cycle and you've got to start breaking it somewhere.

And--I'm so sorry that your doggies ate your dress. :(

Linda said...

Tai's the same way. He doesn't care about the clutter at all. He doesn't notice messes. I'm the one that cleans. Honestly he'll help but sometimes it's easier to do when he's not home.
He's given me carte blanche to throw away whatever I want. I have done it and he's never missed all the scraps of paper he accumulates. For more important things I bought him an accordion file and I stick stuff in there. When he can't find something he looks there.
We've discussed at length numerous times. I agree, Sabrina, it must be something in the chromosome!

rebekah said...

My husband is the more motivated and organized person in this relationship. It helps when he motivates me by rewarding me. :) A dinner out, a shopping trip, etc.

A Rambling Future Mrs. said...

I said the EXACT same thing this weekend. We were going to be motivated, we were going to clean and begin packing for our upcoming move. And NOTHING got done. Ugh. And yes, it was as much my fault as his, but it still sucks. I hear ya!!

Kristen said...

De-lurking here but I could have written this post word.for.word. Except we've been married 7 years and I've only recently come to the same conclusion of just going ahead and taking care of it. I called up a friend in March and we had an early garage sale - it was fun to do it with a friend and felt even better to start organizing how I want things. We have completely different understandings of what the word "clean" means and what a weekend should be like, for me it's a little work with a little play! Good luck!

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