Thursday, June 26, 2008

Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be

Not that there aren't perks (like being able to legally drink!), but it's just not as cool as I thought it would be! ;-)

I got nada - my life is pretty uninteresting this week. I DID mow the yard (front AND back!) Tuesday night, which I am a little proud of since I've never done that before. Having an MP3 player on really does help. Last night I cleaned on the house and gave one of the dogs a bath. Watched a little TV - "the Baby Borrowers" on NBC (I think?). I didn't really have high hopes for this show, I thought it'd be along the lines of "Wife Swap" or something, but it's actually pretty good! I think it really struck a chord with me with the wedding coming up and the talk of babies in the next few years. I pretty much feel like the 17 and 18 year olds on the show still, but the problem is that I'm 32!! Yikes - that sounds so old! But it was really interesting to see how some of these kids handled themselves in the face of the challenge - some were really really bad (and I hope their parents are watching and plan to give them a good lecture when they get home!), but some were so mature and really giving. For the most part, it was the guys who really stepped it up! Some of the girls on there.... wow. I hope I wasn't that bad at that age!

Anyhoo, the show really adds fuel to the inner struggle going on inside me - the "I want kids" vs. "Hmm, maybe not". When I say that I feel like the kids on the show, it's because I've decided that I am worried and kind of nervous to start that next big phase of my life. When you have kids, it's no longer all about you. You're a PARENT now, and I am not sure I am up for that just yet. It's not that I'm super selfish. As crazy as it sounds, I don't like the notion of getting older - and having kids pretty much cements your place in adulthood. There's no turning back. Argh! I sound crazy, awful, and just stupid right now! So, I'll stop.

Chris gets back really really late tonight, and I'm excited to have him back. Wisconsin gets him back again next week. I don't mind him being gone for a few days, really. It gives me a chance to kind of do my own thing. Plus, we're racking up the airline miles and saving on food costs, since he can expense his food while on the road.


tracy said...

Ya, I remember in college I could not WAIT to be graduated and on my own and now some days I'm like geez I wish I was back to being a like half-adult - got to live on my own but with my parents supporting me, all I had to do was pass my classes!!

I always hear when people have babies, they say oh you never can even imagine life before the baby. But also even yesterday a friend was complaning that she never gets any HER time, when she's gone from the baby she's working.

And here I complain about being single yet really, I get to do what I want, when I want, without having to confer with anyone much less plan for a babysitter!

Don't feel pressured to have a kid.

I saw that show advertised but didn't watch - maybe I should set it for Tivo!

This was a long comment!! :)

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