Oh crap.

Damnit!!

Okay, I thought I had my head all straight on the color scheme and "look" of our wedding decorations. And really, the color scheme is staying. But I saw this picture and I'm wavering on some of my decorations....

See, I like that flower arrangment - it's very pretty. And it would go so well with my "original" idea for a bouquet....

But, I have since decided (or so I thought) to go with a monochromatic bouquet and use arrangements that are those large tropical leaves with just a few curly willow twigs sticking out. Tall, pretty, elegant, inexpensive - and it's in keeping with the 1920's Spanish style of the building.

What hasn't really changed is what I'd like to use on the tables (the leaves or the flower arrangements would be on side tables, by the guest book, etc.) which is this:

I swear, I am the MOST indecisive person in the world on this. I like them both. I can't really have both because it will look odd. Leaves are less expensive. But if I can DIY the few floral arrangements that I'll need, I could do those. Excuse me while I scream..... ARRRGGGHHH!!! It's so stupid to be caught up on such a silly little detail, really. But those cranberries are cool....

Okay, enough ranting for the day. Really, I think partly why I'm so focused on this (other than the fact that I read lots of wedding blogs) is that I'm still stressed out about money. Really upset to the point where I want to blame Chris. And part of it IS his fault, but part is mine too. I know this. I just want to scream though, and I don't really know what to do. I would like to get caught up on everything and be able to stay that way. I just don't see it happening though, and that scares me. And we still *STILL* have not sat down together - things always keep coming up. Tonight is supposed to be the night though, and if he doesn't, well..... I don't know. Okay, I might scream again...